?

Log in

WHY? [entries|friends|calendar]
Why_Do_We_Cut?

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(slit yOur wrists)

[04 Jan 2008|03:50am]

miseriblexdream
[ mood | awake ]

cut free for 3 weeks.
i hope i can make it.

(slit yOur wrists)

about 2 months now. [19 Dec 2007|03:32pm]

miseriblexdream
[ mood | blah ]

its been about 2 months since i've started. as i look back at the past im shocked at how things have changed.
i started in october, only expecting to do it once. but i feel like i wanna do it more and more. i think i cut around 50 times in october.

i stopped that month. but i cut in november once or twice and i just do it sometimes when i just need something to calm myself down.

but theres been twists and turns. i decided to tell my friends, so i can talk to someone and get help if i need to. one friend and i kinda weakened our relationship because of it all. she told the social worker at school. now i have to go every other week and soon to be every week. i still dont forgive her for that.

theres only some people who i can tell without no problem. some people found out at school im pretty sure. but its not their damn problem.

i wanna cut. i dont wanna stop. how can i get help? life is just unfair.

(slit yOur wrists)

[19 Dec 2007|03:32pm]

miseriblexdream
[ mood | blah ]

its been about 2 months since i've started. as i look back at the past im shocked at how things have changed.
i started in october, only expecting to do it once. but i feel like i wanna do it more and more. i think i cut around 50 times in october.

i stopped that month. but i cut in november once or twice and i just do it sometimes when i just need something to calm myself down.

but theres been twists and turns. i decided to tell my friends, so i can talk to someone and get help if i need to. one friend and i kinda weakened our relationship because of it all. she told the social worker at school. now i have to go every other week and soon to be every week. i still dont forgive her for that.

theres only some people who i can tell without no problem. some people found out at school im pretty sure. but its not their damn problem.

i wanna cut. i dont wanna stop. how can i get help? life is just unfair.

(slit yOur wrists)

[08 Oct 2007|07:50pm]

miseriblexdream
[ mood | blah ]

things have been going crazy lately..
i cut for the first time on oct 4th 2007.
about 4 days ago.
with a broken piece of glass in my room
on my wrist.
i understand how people can do it.
it feels good at the moment.
i like the fire feeling.
but friends found out.
and they are worried.
im trying not to do it again.
but i cant promise i wont..

(slit yOur wrists)

[12 Jul 2007|10:58am]
xxx_hurt_xxx
[ mood | frustrated ]

Fighting a losing battle
Dying slowly inside
The life sucked out of me
Can't keep pretending
Telling me to stop i pray i could
I can't it keeps me alive

Help i've been cutting loads more recently and want to stop i'm scared to though because i don't wanna try and fail. Every little thing is getting to me and i just feel like i've ruined the family. i always seem to do stuff wrong no matter how hard i try. so i don't try anymore and get into trouble for it.

One of my mates is watching me but he knows whatever he says is ignored unless he can find some way of connecting with me and getting me to let him in. i know he's worried about me but he doesn't know what to do. I wish he didn't have to worry about me that i didn't need someone there to make sure i don't cut too deep, or to make sure i don't take them pills, or jump off that bridge ito the icy water below. I wish i didn't feel anything then i wouldn't care that slowly i'm losing everything

xXx

(slit yOur wrists)

cutting [06 Jul 2007|12:24am]

miseriblexdream
[ mood | tired ]

Im 13 and havent really tried cutting. Is it really addicting? I would cut when I get outraged...it just hasnt happened yet since I kind of got into it...I would try burning too. But I dont know if I will ever cut, or burn...I see blood everyday, when I have to check my god damned blood sugar. Is cutting really worth while?.....

(5 take the razOr | slit yOur wrists)

[05 Jul 2007|09:46am]
xxx_hurt_xxx
[ mood | bored ]

Struggling to keep my balance as i run along the worn down path towards the beach, The wind dries my tears, which seem to fall without me even noticing. I pass the slip way with happy families at the bottom playing and reach a path trodden down by Ryan, a path he showed me a long while ago, surprised i remembered, surprised its still here, climbing down the cliff face has become more difficult than the last time, with all the erosion. I jump the last few feet and land on the clay to the base of the cliffs, Scrambling over the last part i slid and nearly fall but a hand grabs me from above, And pulls me to the safety between the boulders where nobody will see. Looking up, now i see Ryan, he seems to realize i'm slightly confused, that i didn't expect him here.He explains that he say me running on the top path and seeing as i wasn't dressed to be out running he knew something was wrong so he followed but came down the slip way and was much faster than me.. Suddenly my eyes fill again and i fall against him and cry so hard, cry like a baby and he just holds me, When the tears slow he asks me for my knife, puzzled i give him it, he always carries his so why does he want mine? i wondered what he was going to do, With barely any movement he tosses it in the air and catches it again, studying it he notices a smear of blood and asks if its mine, but without waiting for an answer asks why, gently he takes my are, my left, so he knew all along. Carefully he rolls up my jacket sleeve until my sweatband and a few inches above are exposed, slowly he removes my sweatband, saying i shouldn't be ashamed , he looks at the cuts as the blood still trickles gently out of them, He looks so upset and maybe even a bit worried. He says he wont leave me until i'm safe back inside with my parents to watch me, so i ask for my knife back and he gives it,  taking me home i hate him for once again i was stopped but i am grateful he is trying to stop me turning out like him.

(slit yOur wrists)

Why [05 Jul 2007|09:13am]
xxx_hurt_xxx
[ mood | depressed ]

I hate the introduction bit of tings so basically i'm 15 and been cutting for 3 years, if there's anything else you think i should say then let me know.

WHY CUT? Why does anyone cut? Does anyone really know the real reason why they feel the need to. I've learnt that if you want to get by in life then there has to be a way to cope and for me that is to cut, . Sometimes i think i want to stop and that if i want to i can but i know i can't, even with help and support i can't stop, People often think that cutters do it because they want to die but that isn't true they do it because they want to live.

I don't cut much anymore and am pretty sure i could just stop but then if i haven't done it for a period of time and something gets too me i don't know what to do and end up cutting again, but it scares me so much that i know if i want to live and manage i have to cut to get through it otherwise i'll end up dead.

Sorry for the slightly philosophical first post but i knew i needed to write cause of the way i feel i just didn't really want to talk about how i feel and why

xXx

(slit yOur wrists)

[04 Jul 2007|07:01pm]

werewolf_freak
[ mood | depressed ]

hello ...............
The reason I cut is because I am depressed and it the only way to put away my emotionally pain........
crying doesn't help me deal with my emotionally pain.



(1 take the razOr | slit yOur wrists)

What Hurts The Most? [20 Apr 2007|07:34am]

beachbummed
 hope you guys can help me here.
I just want some feedback. A lot of feedback. 
You see, I'm making this collage for my art class. And I hope you guys can help me by giving me an answer to this question: 

What hurts the most?

Yes, thats what my collage for my art class is all about. And I need as many answers as possible in order for me to fill up 2 illustration boards.

REPLIES WOULD BE DEEPLY APPRECIATED :)

(1 take the razOr | slit yOur wrists)

Long comment please reply to what i half to say !!! [26 Mar 2007|09:50am]

drunkenkangaroo
[ mood | numb ]

well i'm sorry i havn't been posting to much.
two nights ago i cut my leg not bad or anything but enough so i could see the blood.
I'm having a really hard time and i am getting help or at least i will be starting to get help when i get off the waiting list.
basicly i'm writing a book about my life and how hard it really is living with FAS (fetal Alcohol Syndrome). I have been reading up on diffrent books about this and well I hate what i'm reading. I hate the fact that what i'm reading in these diffrent books at some point i'm reading about myself . And it scares me .
i'm so frusterated in so much pain. And i can't wrapp my brain around why my adoptive parents didn't tell me about any off this stuff i'm reading. they tryed to pertect me but really they just made this process of me getting over everything ihalf to deal with in life a lot harder now. I feel so alone in the way i feel and what i'm going through but i know i'm not alone. I have been used and emotionaly abuse by this family for far to long and now it's my turn to do something right for me and all i want is to get help so i can help others deal with FAS.
whats so wrong about that. i don't know but my family sure thinks so .
If i'm not there to do what they want i'm either called "selfish" "spoiled brat" "Ungreatful"
or that i owe them.
all my life i have given to this family. i have always been told what to do when to do it how to do it. how to act what to think and what to say.
I don't know who i even am?
And i want to figure this out but if i don't do what they expect of me to do for them then i just get verbaly abused by them and it's not fair.

(3 take the razOr | slit yOur wrists)

[11 Nov 2006|04:36am]
elizabethanykim
sometimes i cut for no apparent reason, and other times, there is something that pushes me over the edge. there is something that is deep inside of me, that i can not find nor identify, and perhaps i am trying to cut it out. cutting can be punishment, control, various things. it lets you know you are alive, saves you from suicide temporarily. there are so many reasons that someone cuts. these are a few of mine.
~Eli

(13 take the razOr | slit yOur wrists)

Too long [09 Apr 2006|04:14pm]

freak6
Its been too long.
Everyone forgot about this place.
Or maybe has moved on.
Or maybe you got sick of me.
The girl that wrote too deep, and didn't cut.

But through all of this I wanted to live here.
In this place.
But not here.
Not now.
And not ever.

So do you have the will to come back.
Can you do it for the sake of someone else.
Can.
Now even through the pain.

Because When you cut it hurts.
So that much be love?

(1 take the razOr | slit yOur wrists)

WHY DO I CUT [17 Dec 2005|06:21pm]

ass_cheerios
cuz Jesus came into my room at nite and told me to. he rape me too :'''''''''(

(1 take the razOr | slit yOur wrists)

[05 Nov 2005|04:25pm]

_tea_4_two_
[ mood | I FEEL BLANK ]

I cut, i dont know why and i cant tell anyone. the first tim e idont remember much. i was only 11, and i had a life time of sadness built up inside and i just let it all go away, and i used a boxknife. the thing is im so used to it now i do it without even knowing it until i see the blood. im basically always sad, sometimes more than others. the times where im not real sad i can hide it.that time usually lasts about a week.until eather something happans or just the depression catcthes up with me. then theres about a week where im reel depressed.i spend most of my time staring blankly at TVs that are turned off and taking comfurt in music, 'cause i know that CD will never change, if it gets scratched, the messed up part is still tthere just hiding beneith the scratches. when i cant listen to the music ti replays in my head. inever cry, or even really think about it much. then it all just goes bad. i start to think about things and i cant deny the urges no more but i still try. i cry, ishake, i rock back and forth. i fell like things are crawling on me, my senses are sharp, myskin feels tight. i poor hot candle wax on my armsand and i cry some more...and then i see blood. and like that im releived, cause thats all i needed.the it starts all over again with week 1

(1 take the razOr | slit yOur wrists)

now [14 Oct 2005|11:34am]
raynebow666
[ mood | rejuvenated ]

i take off my shirt

i look at my wounds

its not god enough

or deep enough

so i grab a

blade and slice

through my stomach

it bleeds

and it runs

and it stains everything in its path

but im relieved

 

and thats all that matters

(slit yOur wrists)

Im New... [13 Oct 2005|10:24am]

xmiserablexmex
[ mood | accomplished ]

Im new here...I used to be a cutter...I havnet cut for 3 months now...but I still get urges. My name is Tashara. I used to cute because my Uncle molested me. I was picked on in school . I am still am picked on but not the much. I was so diffrent... I only like rock music...I hated rap. And me being black is not a good thing. My mom would have the worst attitude. She hurt me when she yelled and screamed. Now I have therapy...if anyone wants to talk to me ask me for my screen name...cutting is very adddicting...its hard to stop and it ruins your body...and you can die ... if you cut deep enough...dont start find another oulet...thats all i have to say

xx
Tasha

(1 take the razOr | slit yOur wrists)

[27 Jul 2005|06:26pm]

xthecheshirecat
Banner 1
sharpobjectsinc


check it out ;)

megs

(1 take the razOr | slit yOur wrists)

Intruductions are futile [26 Jul 2005|08:54pm]

xthecheshirecat
[ mood | melancholy ]

hi everyone. im megan. im new. i was feeling kind of lonely and i have like, 0 friends so i decided to join this community. lets see... im 16. i started cutting when i was 14. i will soon be coming on my 3 year anniversay of cutting *october 7*. i dont even remember why i started. all i know is that i was just a big poser. it was freshman year and i fell in love with that whole "goth" "lost soul" stereotype and i decided that for some reason, thats what i wanted to be. so i dressed all in black and started to scratch at my arms. i was "depressed", right? yeah, right. *dont hate me* but i was one of those people who sort of bragged about my cutting. i think half of my freshman class knew i was doing it. i even got a buddy to do it with me. shes better now. me? not so much. 4 days after my birthday *march 13*, i took a rasor to my wrist really fast and hard. i had to go to the hospital of course and its just one of those memories i try not to think about. so then of course i had to tell my parents and that was just hell. after that, i stayed away from cutting. then sophemore year came. sophemore year was a bitch, let me tell you. i became bulimic over the summer because i hated the way i was. soon i started cutting again, harder and deeper. no one knows anymore. they all think i dont do it, that i got clean you know? well, this time, im not doing it for the image. fuck images. stereotyping is probably one of the worst things humans have done. well...i dont know, comparing stereotyping and WWII is kind of hard so mayhaps its not one of the WORST things humans have ever done, but i still think its bad. ANYWAYS- i cut, im really sad...i dont exactly know why, and i need help- whether its support or stopping all together. mayhaps i DO need cutting, mayhaps its one of those things that people like us need in our lives- to bleed, to know that we still feel, to escape, to know we're still alive. if you cut deep enough, you WILL bleed. if you cut deeper, mayhaps you'll die. and maybe thats what I need right now.


thank you for listening. and i hope im welcome in your community.
megan

(1 take the razOr | slit yOur wrists)

Dreams of nightmare full of death [20 Jun 2005|06:13pm]

blackroseoflies
[ mood | amused ]

New poem that i just wrote a few minutes back, comment on what you think. Pleases and thank yous.

Dreams of nightmares full of deathCollapse )

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]